The Beginning...

My Name is Katie. I am 28 and a college graduate. I am a Senior Recruiter and Staffer. Sounds normal huh? I am also diagnosed with Bi-Polar 2 and OCD. Bi-Polar your saying to yourself? Wow, she must be a wack job? I bet she can't handle a job, a relationship, infact, she probably mooches off the government for disability. The answer is no. I am a fantastic recruiter, I have a boyfriend who treats me like a princess and no, I do not collect disability. I get up in the morning, have breakfast and my coffeee and off for the day.

Bi-Polar has a stigma that people are crazy. You can go on different medical sites and it tells you about being “manic” and then “depressive”. That we don't sleep at night, oh and we go on crazy shopping sprees.

Am I normal? No. But is anyone? My issues go much further than that. It's depression. It's an unforgivable, unimaginable, type of depression. Mine occurs at night. I visit my psychologist every two weeks to see how the meds are holding up. I am not talking about just some asprin. I am talking about meds, that make me feel dopey, and look stupid, and make people think I am “on something”. Do you know how many friends I have lost when they learn what I have as a disorder? They don't do research, they just can't understand how I am not like them. You hear all the time, true friends stick with you through even the hardest of times. I need more fingers to count how many people have left my life.

I am not saying its all their faults. I've gotten so drunk I don't know where I am, I tried pain killers, just to feel normal and have had to detox twice off of them so I won't have cravings. Oh and don't forget some of the benzo's my doctor prescribed that gave me to take in moderation that I have taken just a little “extra”.

Did I do this for the “high”? NO. I wanted to feel NORMAL. But again, who is normal. I have kept this a secret from friends and family for 7 years. Why would I want to tell them I have a condition, I know they will run away from. So I keep it up bottled up inside. After I heard about the shootings in Sandy Hook, learning how the killer had a mental illness I decided to come out with my disease with the hopes of helping others.

I will be posting this blog in the hopes that with my experiences, it may help others. I'll write on the days I am happy and the days I am sad. I hope that this will help in the sense that life goes on and you can be Bi-Polar and have a New Normal.