And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries
And they scream
The worst things in life come free to us
Cos we're just under the upperhand
And go mad for a couple of grams
And she don't want to go outside tonight
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland
Or sells love to another man
It's too cold outside
For angels to fly
Angels to fly
Ripped gloves, raincoat
Tried to swim and stay afloat
Dry house, wet clothes
Loose change, bank notes
Weary-eyed, dry throat
Call girl, no phone
I don't know how many people have heard this song but its beautiful and I relate to it in many ways. I have been suffering with BiPolar disorder since about 18. I often dream of the days when I will be "normal" or normal to me. Right now, I am on a downward slope and that is why I am going to check into an outpatient clinic Monday to work especially hard on controlling my bipolar. Unlike this song, I'm not a call girl or smoke a pipe haha, but I did have a substance abuse, for the mental pain. I still feel like if it works for me, then why not? It's not illegal, but I know it's not good for me. And I have stopped. Have I had relapses...yup. Even somewhat recently. Do you Know what this does to my parents, friends and family? It kills them, and it kills me for doing it to them. And then I get depressed. And the battle begins again.
I know some of you who read this cant comprehend what my feelings are or how to understand me properly and I apologize for that. But for those of you who can understand, I appreciate your feedback. As you know someone posted that my bipolar was spam so I can't put this on Facebook sites unless they allow it. So I ask you if you know anyone suffering or just feels similar to how I feel. Share. I wish I could write more often, but life has taken a different turn on me. And with the outpatient treatment I hope I learn more.
Severe Depression and Anxiety is painful. I don't care what any book says. Mental pain can be just as bad as physical pain. Why do you think there is such high suicide rates? Please if you learn anything from my blogs, please get the help. There is government aid if you don't have the money. I have been blessed with funding to do it. And it's because I'm just like you. Nothing to do with looks or physical appearances. We're all in this boat together. Feel free to write to me, via Facebook, email or my physical address which I will put at the bottom of this. I have been hanging up your wonderful inspirations and thank your in my room. It gives me great feeling not just that I have helped someone but because your helping my spirits too. I'll write more tomorrow.
Love one and All,
Katie Quinn
Katiequinn20@yahoo.com
My address is: 226 Lexington Rd, Schwenksville PA, 19473.
Please don't abuse the information I'm giving you. I don't need stalkers lol. If anyone is close in the area, feel free to reach out and I'll meet you. Again, I want to make one of those live strong like bracelets for bipolar, so any donations will be gratefully accepted.
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