Good Evening,
Well All, if you look at my new profile picture, you can see I went for a major change. It's a short bob, and unfortunately, I can't upload the picture so I uploaded it to my profile picture. Then I came home to a huge box with a Gigantic Teddy Bear, a Heart Shaped Box of Chocolates, and a Dozen Red Roses. I had tears of joy. Not just because I had these materialistic things, but e card that came with it. It said "Feel Better Angel, You're important to me and many other people". I received a card from another loved one that said " Hopefully this comes as a little pick me up for you and brightens your day and puts that smile on your face that you deserve to have everyday".
I have realized, I have so many people in my life that love me and will ALWAYS be there for me. With my new hairstyle, I really want to change the outlook on my life. I realize, although I get so depressed, I have people that truly love me. When I want to end my life cause I feel like I am a bother to other people, I get cards or gifts in the mail, and tears of happiness stream down my face.
Maybe it's the weather, or someone, but I have been having a difficult few months. The depression has been awful, the arguments with my mother, seem awful, my job situation seems hopeless. When I get depressed I feel guilty because,at least I have a home, a warm bed, clothes, and food to eat. I think of children in under privilege areas and then think to myself, "Your such a bitch. Look at all you have. Your ungrateful". Then the depression worsens.
I can't explain the mental pain I have everyday. And you know what, I am not going to sit here and write to other people who are suffering from depression, that I know what it's like for them. Cause I don't. I never will. NO ONE will no the pain your in. You can go to therapy, your best friend, and try to explain it, but don't let anyone tell you, they know what your going through.
Right now, dating is not an option, or at least serious dating. I need to focus on me and getting my meds right and such like that, and be happy with myself. I am grateful for all of you and the support you have given me. I want to thank you for spreading the word because its time for the nation to get rid of the mental illness stigma and let's focus on working on changing and fixing our issues for our minds. Be happy as much as you can, and don't take for granted the people you have in your life supporting you.
I hope you have a wonderful night and I continue to keep in touch with you all and help in whatever way I can. If you have read my other blogs, you know how to reach me. And again, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!
Sincerely,
Katie Quinn
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